Trudging

Hey, everyone,

I apologize for my irregular posts as of late. I just moved, got my wisdom teeth out, and started a new position at work. A lot of changes in my life happened in the past two weeks. I’m back now and look forward to resuming my weekly posts with you all.

I’ve been doing my best to write every day. Lately, I’m still feeling unconnected to my material. I write in my journal while I ride the train down to work, but rarely does it feel rewarding. I guess the best way to put it is that I’m grasping at straws. I don’t know what I’m looking for or where to start.

I still have to read through my first draft of Harvest. It’s been nearly three months since I finished it but I don’t know where to start. The obvious answer is page one, however, I don’t know what I’m looking for. I know there needs to be structural changes to the story. Backstory and context need to come earlier. The audience needs to know my characters as people before we get into the heart of the plot, which then deepens our understanding of them and their relationships.

To me, it feels like starting over. Again.

I’ve already scrapped and restarted this novel three times to get to where I am today, and the idea of working with a clean slate again doesn’t appeal to me. Granted, I do not have a clean slate. I have over 50,000 words to stem off of. The part that trips me up is that it feels complete, and that if I remove or alter a portion in the beginning or middle, all the pieces after collapse like a house of cards. I think that is the dichotomy of my conflicted revision mindset: one, I feel apprehensive tampering with a full draft as it then skews everything afterwards; and two, it is a first draft that needs deep revisions to make the story the best it can be. One half says I’m done while the other insists I’m far from it.

I’m trudging forward. I’ve been writing new scenes in my novel’s world. I also drop myself in a scene I remember and rewrite it from memory to re-see certain moments, especially when I know what comes later.

In short, I’m back and plan to keep moving forward. Let’s trudge forward in our own projects together.

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